Bits And Pieces

Bits And Pieces

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thejackalopegirl:

sulihead:

I dare you not to smile watching this

This is too cute. I can’t.

(Source: just-a-skinny-boy, via laughcentre)

(Source: thehuy, via laughcentre)

(via asdfghjkllove)

Confused

I really don’t know what or how I should feel right now. Part of me cannot bear to see it end, but another part is just so tired of all these. How many “last chance” were being given up till now, I have honestly lost count.

A last chance is really not a last if someone keeps asking for it time and again whenever things lead to such a scenario. I guess it really is my problem that I always have to be with guys that ask for countless of last chances. The worst part of all is that I would always end up giving it to them despite knowing that I should not. What hurts the most this time was that I actually thought he would be different from the other two.

“This is really the last time”. “Is a make it or break it thing already”. Lines like these seem to get more frequently used these days, which really does not make sense to me, given that they are supposed to be a one-off thing - something which once said, would really become a do it or end all statement. Obviously it had not been the case at all.

At times I think that maybe it is that my expectations are too high, and that maybe I should lower my expectations. Yet whenever I think of that, I would be reminded of what my mum would say. If my expectations were lowered, then I would never get what I could have if I had kept my expectations higher.

As time goes by, I am really starting to think that maybe it is just not in me to know how to care and be nice to people. I don’t know. It’s like I feel I’m being more hard-hearted with each passing quarrel that I’ve had with him. So much so that I really am beginning to believe that ‘what you can’t do, there would be others that could’.

The absolute most painful thing about this time was that things got violent. He seems to be becoming more like the person I left about two and a half years ago. So now my rationale is that why should I have to put up with that once again? The love is diminishing while the fear just grows in place of that. I don’t want to have to deal with that kind of anxiety again. Threats and violence are definitely vices which I cannot tolerate.

It really hurts when I think about the fact that he was the one, the very first one, I fought so hard for to let my mum know about, to approve of him officially. So having the thought that he isn’t even appreciative or trying to make things better just makes me wonder why should I try so hard in the first place.

Now, things might just end off soon, but I’m really uncertain if I wanted it that way or if I still want to hold on.